Several years ago, I picked up some incredibly memorable life-principles as an active participant in an intensive workshop called The Encounter Training, while living in Nashville, Tennessee. There was a lot of sticky doses of counsel that I’ve kept with me since then, but I recollect one in particular nearly every day:

The power of a promise

One of the most tangible ways to show love is to simply keep your promises. If you pay attention to the day-to-day promises you make to others, it creates integrity for you and lets others know how valued they are. We would also assert that a broken promise is a cry for help. It’s tangible evidence that certain aspects of your life aren’t working.

Where the power of a promise really came into play during this workshop was in abiding by the rules the group of 30 of us crafted ourselves. One rule agreed-upon by the entire group? “We start the first session each morning at 8 a.m.”

Simple enough and not asking too much. Following morning, no one thought much as some of the trainees rolled in at 8:01, 8:05…even 10 after. But our workshop leader did. Each person who walked in late was asked to stand up and acknowledge that they had, in fact, broken the 8 a.m. rule–and to that, a promise–they’d played a part in creating.

Of course, initially, it seemed a bit extreme to make such a big deal about a few minutes’ tardiness (including my own!). But as the instructor reminded us of our prior commitment to the “8 a.m. Rule,” and how it pertained to the above-noted Promise Principle, it all did strike a chord. When you and I agree to meet at the coffee shop at 9:30, we’ve made a verbal contract to each other. A promise that we’ll be there when we say we will. If one of us is late because of poor time-management or straight-up carelessness, it’s a broken promise.

We may not think much of it because we are surrounded by people (including ourselves) who run late as ritually as we check our Facebook. Or make plans and don’t follow through with them. No matter how culturally-common it may be to not follow through, a broken commitment is a broken promise. Is it a cry for help as the principle states? I’m not sure. But I know when some of the prepetually-late people in my life say they’ll “be there at 7,” I don’t totally trust they will. In my mind, I’m like, “Yeah, see you at 7:15, then.” And trust is everything. Which is why I’ve been known in my household to take the kids to the fro-yo place at 9 p.m. when they should be in bed–because at some point during the day, I absentmindedly committed to Let’s Spoon.

And those two have the gift of recollecting my promises in the nick of time.

Plus, it’s fro-yo.

My point in all of this promise-talk is twofold: 1) Trust is essential in thriving relationships; and 2) Sometimes, the cause of a delay has nothing to do with errancy.

If I’m waiting for my good friend Jeremy to pick me up at the airport, and he hasn’t shown up an hour past the time I’d told him my flight would land, I’m not going to be annoyed by his irresponsibility and thoughtlessness. Years of relationship has taught me that Jeremy’s prompt and reliable. Thus, I assume something happened that messed up his plans beyond his control. Maybe a flat tire? Daughter blew out a diaper right after putting her in her carseat? I don’t see or know what’s going on, but because of our history, I trust that his intent was to act on his commitment.

Sort of similarly, almost everyone I know is waiting on God to do something in their life. Give them direction on a career path. Heal a sickness. Provide a spouse. Restore a damaged relationship. Bring financial stability to the family. We’re waiting on God to answer some type of prayer.

But those I know who have established a relationship, history and knowledge of and with God the Father–those who have developed a mature faith in who He is and what He says–aren’t typically cursing Him as they wait for some sort of deliverance or answer.

And here’s where I take another slight turn on the subject.

One thing I don’t think about as often as I should is the spiritual forces at work that might actually be delaying the answered prayer. In fact, in my weak moments, I’m way more likely to chalk up an unanswered prayer to poor performance on my end (not praying right, not behaving well enough…)–essentially make it all about me–rather than consider there is a literal spiritual war happening in the supernatural that might be getting in the way.

That said, I’ve been camped out on this scripture passage pretty much all week:

“A hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. He said, ‘Daniel, you who are highly esteemed, consider carefully the words I am about to speak to you, and stand up, for I have now been sent to you.’ And when he said this to me, I stood up trembling. 

Then he continued, ‘Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia.'” – Daniel 10:10-13

The prophet Daniel can’t understand why one of his prayers is going unanswered. He’s fasting, praying, crying for weeks, and nothing’s happening. Eventually, an angel shows up to explain what’s been going on in the unseen world: for three weeks, the angel had been trying to overcome resistance from the “prince of the Persian kingdom” in order to answer Daniel’s prayer, and only recently had received help from archangel Michael, who I have to imagine is just an absolute powerhouse.

I read that and have to imagine Daniel never prayed flippantly again. And, I mean, this is a guy who’d already prayerfully-survived a lion’s den.

How interesting–and inspiring–is it that there is a battle going on for us that we can’t see? Yet, it’s through our prayer that we become part of the battle ourselves. John Piper puts it this way:

“…it’s no accident that the messenger said that his struggle with the prince of Persian lasted exactly the same amount of time that Daniel’s fasting and prayer did—21 days. The reason for this is that the warfare in the spirit realm was being fought in a real sense by Daniel in the prayer realm.

And so it is with more of our prayers than we realize. We should wrestle in prayer and fasting for the things that we know are God’s will in our lives and our families and our church and our city and our world. But by and large we should probably leave it to God how he will use angels to get his work done. If God shows us more, we will use it. But the essence of the matter is not knowing the spirits but knowing God (emphasis Matt’s) and praying in the power of Holy Spirit.

To pray and trust like Daniel did. To be aware of the warfare we can’t see but is very real, and passionate enough to prayerfully and actively wrestle against it through the Holy Spirit’s power. To follow through with promises as timely as God does. May that be the prayer for each of us who read this far into this blog post!