“If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.” – Psalm 37:24

“For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.” – Proverbs 24:16

“Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light. Because I have sinned against him, I will bear the Lord’s wrath, until he pleads my case and establishes my right. He will bring me out into the light; I will see his righteousness.” – Micah 7:8-9

I met with a new-er friend for lunch today. Because we’re young in our relationship, having only met up twice prior, there’s a lot of “getting to know you” ground to cover. There are times when I think I’ve hit my limit on the amount of people I can adequately maintain in my social circle. But when a guy like John comes around who’s inquisitive, transparent, and intentional about building a friendship–and also insightful and biblically perceptive–I always gladly find a way to stretch out that circle to fit in one more. Guys like John are gold to me.

He’s taken a lot of interest in my four+ years-old decision to stay single and wait out the potential for God to restore a presently-divorced marriage between my wife (not a fan of “ex-wife”) and me. That means remaining abstinent and not getting involved in any kind of romantically-inclined relationship. It also means facing the loneliness, frustration, extra work of being a single parent and sometimes-gigantic void of sexual intimacy.

“Man, I don’t know how you do it,” John said, gazing off over my shoulder, head shaking. “…I don’t think that I could”

He was pondering what a lot of men who sit down with me ponder. “Could I be that obedient? That consistent? That self-controlled?”

NOTE!!: Though that is truly my assignment–and I am determined to stick through it, I’ve been far from the poster boy of self-control. I’ve wandered off the path–sometimes by a step, sometimes by an overseas voyage–uncountable times.

Yes, it has been a very tough exercise of faith to abide by what scripture clearly directs divorced Christ-followers to do: remain unmarried or reconcile with my wife. No, I haven’t always had enough faith to act obediently to this direction. But the point of this post is to emphasize what I believe is true for everyone who chooses a way that chases the spirit’s leading over the flesh:

Though you stumble, there is opportunity for you to rise again. If your path is purposed to delight (and delight in) the Lord, He–the Father–won’t let you fail. At least not in a way that disqualifies you from your heart’s ultimate desire: wholeness and satisfaction. The real kind, not the kind you get from a compliment, a delicious meal or a compelling concert experience. That’s cool, but it’ll fade–and there’s still SOME sort of disappointment involved. The fact that it was a brief, temporary moment is disappointment in itself, right? The real kind of wholeness is unending and the real kind of satisfaction brings God glory, which is what we were created to do. Believe it or not.

I don’t always believe all of this.

In fact, it’s a struggle to believe it, even most of the time. I’ve made so many blatantly-wrong decisions, that, in my weakest moments of trust and/or hope, I can be pretty convinced that I’ve used up my allotment of “stumbles.” And now it’s just waiting to reap whatever ugliness I’ve sowed.

And, yes, there have been/will be consequences for my actions (Gal. 6:7-8), to be sure. Still, as I learn to trust God more, I’m getting to know him less as a coach that’s about to pull my athletic scholarship because I’ve completely failed to meet expectations and more as the high priest described in Hebrews 4:15. The one who isn’t “unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Jesus experienced all the limitations of living in a fallen world and he understands my carnal struggle t0 want to go a route that differs from God’s best.

One of the things I’ve had to pray for wisdom about the most is knowing the difference between God’s plan for my life, and Satan’s. I’m well-aware they both have one for each of us. As I seek to know the Lord better, I trust that I’ll grow deeper in love with him and THAT will be my main motivator to stay away from sin. While I do think sin and its after-effect stumbling equal a lot of pain and, practically, a lot of wasted time, I don’t want to not sin for that reason. I want to not sin because I delight so much in my heavenly Father, that, by comparison, I’d look at sin and be like, “Why would I want to do that?”

John Piper says, “Faith is not merely believing that Christ died for our sins, but also that he is far better than sin.” We’re going to sin. I’m going to wander off of the path God has me on. I want the faith to always know that, wherever I’ve stumbled off to is far less appealing than where God had me. And even in my stumbling, wandering in dark places…He will see my desire to live righteously and pick me back up, into the light.