As I floundered through the searing pain of a broken marriage–one spurred on largely due to personal failures of my own–I initially needed to share my pain. At least, at the time, I thought I did. The trauma of losing so much (family, job, reputation)–and gaining so much self-awareness of what I had become–so quickly–was just too overwhelming for me to handle internally.

So I’d talk about what happened to others. Somewhat liberally, even. Trying to hunt people down who could maybe help me by relating to what I’d just gone through. I didn’t want to be alone in my suffering. I didn’t want to be alone, period.

Refreshingly, there were several people who came alongside me on that particular stretch of the journey who could relate to my situation at least somehow: their marriage fell apart, or nearly did; they made horrible decisions that hurt other people, namely their spouse; they wrecked their life for a season. There were also many people who listened, but simply couldn’t relate to what I was enduring. They’d sit in the mud puddle with me for awhile, but because their own experience was so different, they didn’t stick around long. And, really, that was OK. Because in the midst of turmoil, any comfort is acceptable; but if the comforter just doesn’t (or can’t) relate–or even worse, thinks they can because of the time he got in a fight with his wife once for checking out another woman at the mall–it’s rarely helpful. They certainly may have suffered like I suffered, but their level of suffering didn’t connect for me. Not then, anyway.

So, as I read through Hebrews 2 this past week, the (re)affirmation that Jesus Christ walked the earth as a human being with flesh and bones.

Hebrews 2:14 says, “Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death–that is, the devil–and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.

He was a human. God could have given Jesus all of the physical traits of myself or any other person, but made him entirely mechanical in his emotional state. Unaffected by others or by the elements. He could have not felt and been completely unmoved by the pressures and temptations of life. He could have been a numbed-out robot who was preprogrammed to be perfect, but completely inhuman.

But he was very human. The best example of this that I can think of is how he cried out to Abba in the Garden of Gethsemane the evening before His crucifixion. Jesus knew what heavy amounts of torture and abandonment was ahead. Had God preprogrammed him not to feel, he could have gone through the entire process up to Golgotha without a wince or ounce of sadness, fear, loneliness or even shame as he hung naked on a cross in front of his peers.

Even though Jesus knew exactly why He was brought to earth and was always zeroed in on what he needed to accomplish during his time upon it, as a human, he MUST have had a moment of temptation to get himself out of that situation in the Garden. He did have God’s power within him, after all. Surely he could have done what he did in the angry crowd earlier that year, and made himself “disappear.”

Then there’s the time satan temped Him at the end of his 40 day fast at the beginning of his ministry…

“For this reason he had to be like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” – Hebrews 2:17-18

The thing about Jesus is, in order to love him and to truly love what He did for us out of his own love, there has to be a connection. I have to know that he gets me. Not from a distance. Not a “I see you down there messing up, Matt. That must be rough. I wouldn’t know, because I’ve never felt anything like you feel. Good thing I was perfect and never had to deal with hard things myself.”

I still feel disconnected from the idea of Jesus at times, but as I read through this scripture, I become more and more connected with the humanity of Jesus. Because he suffered like I do. And he could only do it by becoming like me. What a testimony of the greatest love. What a gift that Jesus is able to relate to me and convince me of his goodness–all while saving me from death.